Ash Cloud Permitting

I want to get away. I want to do something extraordinary, but I don’t seek attention. I do it for myself, besides most folk don’t care anyway. I do want to be appreciated. I do want people to respect me.

I don’t think that they do. I don’t know why.

I often wonder why people ignore me. It’s not depressing, it’s just puzzling. Why if I’m sitting on my own do other people sit elsewhere? Perhaps its because I’m not a member of a gang, I despise national identity, I feel it, but think of it a weakness. Taking life on solo is so hard, but admirable. I respect those that tackle loneliness and fight it head on. I have no choice.

A friend said recently, people think you’re strange for doing things on your own, yet they won’t come with you. So what choice do you have?

Sit at home feeling sorry for your self? No not for me. Changing and trying to be more like them? No, that wouldn’t do either.

I’m doing a long bike ride, far far longer than I have ever been before in a single direction on my own. It will be a huge mental challenge, If I can make it, it will be determination and stubbornness that drives me. I will fight loneliness, there will be no routine, ill have to adapt and ill have to talk to strangers. All of which scares me, but I crave it.

I want to win.